I've realized something over the last few days.. Unless I have a specific aim(s) , my life is kind of dull.. Infact, if I see no direct utility/purpose in what I'm studying , I tend to take it easy.. I tend to do well in subjects to which I can attach a certain personal/entrepreneurial interest ( not those which may help me in work ) .. During the last week's exam preps, I kept thinking again and again whether these type of complicated formulations would help me in anyway.. Even when I kept telling myself that these may help me at a later point, which I cannot forsee now, I somehow couldnt instil enough interest in myself..
It took back my thought process to a time when I was perhaps in a most inspired/motivated state ..That was during IIT-JEE preps.. Even though I couldnt get in , I still remember that entire period of 2 years during +2 was perhaps the happiest period in my life..And a major reason for that happiness was this motivated state.. or rather obsession with that IIT brand.
After that, further aims/goals/ all have come in my life..but none has motivated me as strong as that IIT dream had at that ripe young age.. Achieved some aims,missed some.. I won't put the cliched saying of 'no regrets' here..I have my own share of regrets :-), but the point is not that..its that for getting back that excitement, I need to set some aim / goal / vision...Again I might not be able to pull back that IIT level motivation..but need to set something thats good enough to motivate me to a decent level..
Current mood :- Highly Arbit & somewhat philosophic